Puzzlers Anonymous

Hello, my name is Chris, and I'm a puzzler....

Have you ever watched Beauty and the Geek? They always have these crazy dudes who are obsessed with really weird stuff, like rubber band collections, Rubik's cubes, D&D (that's Dungeons and Dragons in case you were pretending not to know), and L.A.R.P.-ing (Live Action Role Playing (OK, this one I'll believe you if you didn't know about).

The thing is, I realized this week that I have a geeky obsession myself. I am a puzzler. That is, I am SERIOUSLY addicted to jig-saw puzzles!

As with all addictions, mine starts with denial. I will, nearly never voluntarily begin a puzzle myself, because I am aware of what it may lead to and am trying to "kick the habit." But once someone around me starts working on one the addiction takes over. Right around the time someone finishes the border, I can't hold back anymore, so I decide I will just finish one little part for them, like maybe the small boat in the corner, I'll just find all the pieces that go with that boat and finish that part and then, I'll quit. I work hard and fast on this little boat and before I know it, I am finished....

"Oh Shit," I think. "I am done with the boat but there are still pieces left that I thought went with this boat, but they didn't so they must go with a different boat and since I already have so many of the pieces for that boat I might as well just finish that one real quick like."

This vicious cycle (the reasoning stage) continues, finishing each boat and continuing to work to fill in the gaps long after the puzzle starter has left for more interesting endeavors. Eventually, I have finished everything except the sky or water (you know, all the pieces that look exactly alike and the only way to find where they go is trial and error?).

Time to kick it into hyper-drive (Wow, Star Wars reference, that was geeky too huh?)!! This is the binging stage. I begin sorting the different shapes according to how many knobs they have and whether the knobs are adjacent of across from each other. That is a potential for 6 different piles:

The "No Knob Pile"
The "One Knob Pile"
The "Two Knob Opposite Pile"
The "Two Knob Adjacent Pile"
The "Three Knob Pile"
The "Four Knob Pile"

Then I start finding specific spots where I can narrow down which pile the correct piece may be in. For instance if there is a corner where there are two open ends, I know the correct piece must be in either the four knob pile (rotate the piece four times to see if it fits), the three knob pile (rotate twice to see if it fits) or the two adjacent knob pile (no rotation needed).

I continue this process diligently (while no one else has any interest in continuing) until the puzzle is complete and I have achieved the peak high. Almost immediately after I feel a sense of disappointment and tension (hangover/withdrawal stage). I want another damn puzzle!!

The urge continues until I finally get another one and then I sit looking at it trying not to start it because I know where is will lead and then someone goes and finishes the stupid border....

Here we go again!.....