Worth Watching

North Idaho: A Brave New World

There is a big controversy brewing in Kootenai County. The School Board has been trying to decide what books are and are not appropriate for required readings in school. Some of the books being called into question are astounding. Tom Sawyer??? I think I read that in elementary school. What harm can a good adventure story do? How about The Catcher in the Rye??? Probably the most identifiable, best written coming of age story that every boy should read. Yes, it's profane, but aren't we supposed to look beyond the words and "get something out of it?" The there was Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. This one really had me confused. I can't figure out what is so controversial with some good modern philosophy told through a man and his son's motorcycle trip across the US. The Grapes of Wrath, The Scarlet Letter, 1984, the list goes on.

The issue has been all over the editorials in the Press and I am floored by the responses. The book that is getting the most attention though is Aldous Huxley's A Brave New World. If you haven't read it (first of all you should), here is the basic plot....

Society has progressed along with technology to create what is presented as the perfect world where everybody has what they need. No one speaks out for themselves, they suppress anxiety with a government sponsored drug, Soma, and are conditioned as children through repetitive audio recordings to fit a specific class in society. Everyone is happy with there place. Orgies are encouraged, preferably very high on Soma, to help relieve stress and reduce the chance of someone speaking out of line. Those who reject their conditioning are ultimately banished to the wilderness. John the Savage is one such exile who meets a young lady within the society and teaches her what it is like to really live. I have to admit I haven't read it in a while so I might be off on a couple facts there, but that is the gist.

So everyone here is North Idaho seems to be up in arms that a book that "damages conservative family values" would be taught in school. So the book should be removed from the required reading lists, they say. Excuse me, but this sounds an awful lot like Fascism. Why don't we burn the book while we are at it. Aren't conservatives supposed to be all about less control? Yet they want to ban books from reading lists, restrict the basic human rights of same sex couples, take away a woman's choice.... but, I regress...

The funny part is it that these people obviously don't realize that the book does more to support their "conservative family values" that it does to damage them. Those out there that think the Brave New World is inappropriate for school need to read the book again. Aldous Huxley wrote this classic novel as a satirical view of the direction he thought society was moving. Notice how the society keeps track of their years with the term AF (After Ford, as in Henry Ford). Henry Ford was a proponent of Anti-Semitism in America and he believed that the human race needed to be cleansed of un-pure blood. He even included anti-Semitic propaganda pieces in the glove box of the new cars he sold, right alongside the owner’s manual. Huxley found Ford’s views terrible and in true satirical style, aimed to show that a world of “perfect humans,” as genetically engineered in this Brave New World, simply would not work. Yes, the book has its characters regularly involved in orgies and addicted to a drug called “Soma,” but if you think Huxley meant to glorify this behavior, you are missing the boat. Huxley named his main character John the Savage. While portrayed as the antagonist to the Brave New World, John the Savage was Huxley’s protagonist. He was what a human was supposed to be. He wasn’t “Savage,” Society was just scared of him because he was different. Sound familiar in our own society? Banning Huxley’s book would be making his story more real. It would be controlling society; an attempt to make people think the way we want them to, bringing us one step closer to the Brave New World he described. The people who think this book is inappropriate obviously don’t understand satire and don’t have the benefit of a high school teacher to explain it to them as the kids reading it would. Huxley reminds us what it really means to be human. He supports diversity, emphasizes the importance of free thought and free will and condemns racism, classism and sexism. Most importantly, The Brave New World (through satire) supports Democracy and the basic human rights given to us by the constitution of the United States. Sounds like good reading for everyone.

What gets me is that if this book and many of the others are indeed removed from the required reading list, they will be doing exactly the type of thing that Huxley predicted the world was headed to. They will be attempting to pre-condition our youth by controlling what goes into their minds and what cannot. If kids are allowed to read this novel under the experienced guidance of educators, I have no doubt they would be able to understand the satirical nature of the novel and would understand what type of world Huxley was suggesting we steer clear from. They would also probably realize that the world we live in isn't all that far off from the Brave New World. And that would be a good thing because maybe our "leaders of tomorrow" will have the understanding and education to help guide our country in the right direction for the future.

North Idaho, Banning Books = A Brave New World

This is Me Being Blunt...

I will always search for truth. Even when I think I've found it, I will continue to search and challenge my truth. This is something that too many Christians don't do. I firmly believe that if Christianity is true, God would want us to continue to search for deeper meaning and challenge our own faith even if we were already walking with Him.

There are two possible outcomes that can result from continuing to search and challenge. Both are good outcomes. One, we will build and strengthen the foundations of our faith and continue to learn and grow our relationships with our higher power. Second, we may find evidence to suggest that what we held to be truth may, in fact, be incorrect and thereby find the correct path. If we choose not to exercise our free will and follow blindly without question; if we fail to search deeper and in every direction even when we think we are on the right path, there are NO positive results. Will will cease to grow, our relationship with God will remain stagnant, and if by chance we are wrong about our faith, we will have completely missed the boat effectively eliminating all purpose and potential our life may have once had.

God gave us free will for a reason and he gave us a mind of reason for a purpose. Too many don't exercise this mind or their free will enough. We should use gifts always... forever... no matter where we are in our journey for truth. If we stop using these gifts, we may as well be dead. And as Nietzsche argued, God is, in effect, dead too.

Top 5 Reasons to Vote OBAMA

#5 If McCain moves into the White House, that will be his 9th home. Can we say "out of touch?"



#4 Obama is an avid fan of our national pastime. Sarah Palin is an avid fan of Canada's national pastime.



#3 Dude's got moves!



#2 Joe Biden compensates for Obama's weaknesses. Sarah Palin... she... eh.. hmm...



#1 Does anyone really want to hear four more years of Joe the Plummer refernces? Say NO to Plumber's Crack!!

My Truth, Your Truth

A few blogs ago, I mentioned the idea that "truth for me is different than truth for you." A friend commented saying that he believed that truth is what the Bible says is true and he had trouble with the "My truth, your truth" idea. I had been meaning to write a quick bit to clarify what I meant and I am finally getting around to it. I guess the way I should have worded my idea would be more like this...

I believe that we all have a unique experience of truth. By this I mean, that while the underlying truth may be the same for us all (The Bible perhaps), we all experience that truth in a unique way. This is why I say it is far more important to learn about truth by looking inside and listening to God than to listening to others because the way they experience that truth is different and make not resonate the same way as the experience God intended for us.

I think a big part of what this idea breaks down to is "beware of dogma." I remember Ally and I going to a church in Las Vegas once that believed that those closest to God could speak in tongues. To allow myself to listen to this belief would have damaged the way I viewed God and would have been deafening when trying to hear Him. This is not to say that this experience of truth (speaking in tongues) was wrong, it just may be the way God intended certain people to experience truth. At least thus far, I do not have the ability to speak in tongues. I don't think this makes me have any less chance of fully experiencing God, I just think I am meant to experience him in other ways. To be honest, I have yet to figure out what exactly my experience of truth is or will be. I may never know and I'm OK with that. But I am learning that the best way to come closer to understanding truth is by looking within and placing a fine filter on the outside "noise."

Let me know what you think...

Quote

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

I love this quote! I have to admit, I do kinda enoy annoying the piss out of people from time to time... AND... I'm pretty darn good at it too!! =)

Friedrich Nietzsche, Misunderstood Dead Dude

Most people cringe when they hear Nietzsche's name in the same way they would cringe when they hear names like Ted Bundy, Jeffery Dahmer or Osama Bin Laden. Nietzsche gets a bad rap for a little three word phrase he used four or five times in his lifetime of philosophical works. That phrase... "God is dead."

The problem is Nietzsche didn't mean he was dead in the literal sense...

(Let me preface the rest of this blog by reminding, that I don't necessarily agree with Nietzsche on all his points. I am just clarifying his perspective which I find a fascinating one, and while his argument is extremely well put together, there are a few points of contention).

The modern definition of nihilism is the belief that we have no specific purpose and that there is nothing beyond this world. While often labeled as a nihilist in the modern definition, Nietzsche actually believed nihilism was a huge crisis which faced civilization. He argued that all religions and philosophies of truth, economics or government (including Christianity, Communism, Utopianism, Hinduism, etc.) which focused on an imagined unknown place or state of being, are nihilist.

He comes to this two fold. First, these types of beliefs place little value on earthly materials or bodies and a large degree of faith in a perceived utopia, state of being or heaven. Secondly, and fitting more with our modern definition, he was concerned with people who believed in one philosophy and found evidence at some point that they were wrong or their faith was dis-proven. They then would have nothing to believe in and therefore also have no reason to believe that our earthly being had any meaning.

So if you take his perspective, it is easy to see how his argument that mankind was on a collision course with outright nihilism does hold water. This is where his infamous statement, "God is Dead," came from (which by the way he finishes this quote by saying, "and we killed him"). He was disgusted by the way Christians judged each other and lived motivated by the church and other Christians and not through God himself. He was speaking in the figurative sense that since nihilism is taking over then God can no longer sufficiently be a guide for moral code and is, in effect, dead.

He did however, believe than civilization could overcome nihilism. He reasoned that if God (read, or any other perceived but unearthly belief) is not sufficient to be a guide for moral code, then there must be something else guiding us to morality. Something innate within us which drives us to fight for ourselves. He called this internal drive the "will to power" and anyone who acted on this will was of the "master morality." A person who failed to act on this will, suppressing it to follow the beliefs of philosophies of Christianity, et al. (aka nihilism) was of the "slave morality" or someone who is motivated by something external.

Nietzsche knew that this idea would be balked at by Christians (of which comprised the majority of the people within his geographic influence) and other "nihilistic" views. However, he also thought that if outright nihilism became more evident that it would quickly be overturned as people began to shed their slave morality and move to the master morality. Therefore, another reason for his statement "God is dead," was undoubtedly an attempt to spur on the more modern definition of nihilism so that is could more quickly be defeated.

I think Nietzsche's portrayal of Christians and other belief systems with a focus on the unknown heaven/afterlife as nihilism is a bit of a stretch, however, he does make a compelling and interesting argument.

I completely agree with Nietzsche that we should be motivated by INTERNAL not EXTERNAL beliefs and that we should not be of the slave morality but of the master morality. I do believe that we have a sort of will to power and that we should act on it. I believe our will to power was given to us by God (Nietzsche never said it wasn't) and that listening to him IS internal. I think the point Nietzsche was trying to make is and extremely important one for anyone who believes in God to remember and so many claiming to be Christian forget.... There is a fine line that must be tread when listening to others about God because, while I agree it is important to learn from others, we must make sure we are not motivated by them (external/slave morality) but by God Himself(internal/master morality). If we allows the others to motivate our action then we have, in effect killed God by demeaning Him and placing a higher authority on ourselves. However, by looking within our self and acting on the will He gave us, we can find meaning in today's material world as well as look forward to a world beyond it, thereby defeating nihilism by never allowing it a breath.

Enough!!

I am fed up with the hate mongering!! John McCain is a piece of trash! He has sunk to levels in this campaign that are embarassing to him, his party and this nation! To allow the slander and dangerous libel at his rallies to continue unchecked is irresponsible and dangerous. While he renouced such bigotry for ONE DAY, he showed his true colors when he and his campaign went right back to inciting this riotous, lynch mob mentality. Shouts of "Kill him!" can be heard as recently as yesterday at McCain-Palin rallies and Senator McCain has the audacity to claim to be a victim of negative campaigning!

Keith Olberman last night had this special comment below. It needed to be said and apparently it needed to be said in such a tone, but unfortunately, Olberman's comments, while completely justified, will likely be written off by the McCain campaign as "Liberal Media Bias."

The Latest Thought on Truth

You can always find/make a good argument to support what you want to be true. It bothers me when people are so quick to discredit a thought or idea from a worldview in conflict with Christianity because they say it is only trying to conform truth to that worldview's particular agenda. They usually discredit it by using some quote or idea from some fellow Christian (DOGMA DOGMA DOGMA). The problem with this is that the quote is obviously spoken/written by someone who is a passionate "fan" (which, as Colin Cowherd reminds us, is short for FANatic) of traditional Christianity. Therefore, logic would dictate that their statement is no more credible than the thought or idea they are seeking to discredit since they have just as much of an agenda as the other worldview.

I don't think we can rely on the judgment of other people to determine what is real because by nature, we ALWAYS have an agenda. I think everyone has a unique experience of God and no two people have the same experience. That means truth for me is different than what is truth for you or anyone else AND it means we can only understand that experience by listening to God and not to other people. I think that is why, while we should listen to what others have to say, we should try to keep the volume down because if we allow them to be to loud we may not be able to "hear" how God is really speaking to us.

I'm throwing in this picture of Nala because she is cute!!

@#%$^& Liars

I didn't have a chance to watch most of the DNC a couple weeks ago, but Ally and I watched quite a bit of the RNC last week. I have to admit, I was impressed by a few of the speeches, namely Mike Huckabee, Sarah Palin and John McCain. However, I do have to remind myself that anyone can make a good speech with weeks of preparation and the best speech writers in the world. I thought I'd better listen to a few of the DNC speeches too so I could really balance what was being said. So far, I've listened to all the DNC speeches with the exception of Obama. The only was I wasn't impressed with was Hillary's. She still seems bitter over losing to Obama.

Anyway, what I was extremely frustrated about is that BOTH sides seem to be caught up in the same old Washington politics. The GOP says Obama wants to raise taxes and they aren't going to and the Dems say McCain wants to raise taxes and they won't. Somebody is lying!! Or at least skewing the truth and not going into enough detail to make it clear.

These convention are a waste of time. They have all the time in the world to make strategy and make the perfect speech, hitting every important point and making sure to avoid the issues that could hurt them. When i comes down to it, what I am sure of, is that politicians are liars. They have to be, because of the ridiculous amount of mudslinging the other party will inevitably hit them with. If they aren't conniving and slippery, what chance do they have of winning.

Therefore, I think there are two key things that we need to base our presidential choice on... First, is the big picture, timeless issues. The only thing that the candidates seem to be really clear on are the issues like capital punishment, abortion, gay rights, etc. Vote for the candidate who is close to you on these issues and you will be making the right choice. They are cryptic about the economy, taxes and war so why not look at the things they are clear about.

Secondly, I think we need to look at the things a candidate says on the fly. Look at the things that come out of their mouths when they don't have the benefit of practicing speeches and advisers instructing them how to respond. This is the best way to make sure you are voting for the right person and not the person who is covering their flaws with the people working for him.

Don't vote Red or Blue, vote YOU!!

Resultant "Languages"

If anyone has not read Gary Chapman's "Five Love Languages, " they should. The basic gist of it is that there a five different ways that people express love (Words of Affirmation, Deeds of Service, Physical, Gift Giving and Quality Time) and the best way for us to feel loved is when someone speaks our language. Understanding this and more importantly using it can greatly improve every relationship in a person's life. Ally and I were talking about this the other night and as she fell asleep, I kept thinking...

I think it can be taken a step further... In music when a root and a fifth is played perfectly in tune, a third tone can be heard two octaves and a third below the root. This is called a resultant tone. If one of the notes is not perfectly in tune, the resultant tone will not sound. While Ally and I have different love languages, I noticed that when we are really focused on speaking each other's language, a third language becomes equally important to us and we can speak it and understand it fluently as if it was our own. The closer we get to being perfectly in tune, the more important this third language becomes.

I started thinking about the parallel between music and love more and realized there are a lot of them. But for now, I need to go, so maybe I'll write more about those another time.

Thoughts and comments welcome

Puzzlers Anonymous

Hello, my name is Chris, and I'm a puzzler....

Have you ever watched Beauty and the Geek? They always have these crazy dudes who are obsessed with really weird stuff, like rubber band collections, Rubik's cubes, D&D (that's Dungeons and Dragons in case you were pretending not to know), and L.A.R.P.-ing (Live Action Role Playing (OK, this one I'll believe you if you didn't know about).

The thing is, I realized this week that I have a geeky obsession myself. I am a puzzler. That is, I am SERIOUSLY addicted to jig-saw puzzles!

As with all addictions, mine starts with denial. I will, nearly never voluntarily begin a puzzle myself, because I am aware of what it may lead to and am trying to "kick the habit." But once someone around me starts working on one the addiction takes over. Right around the time someone finishes the border, I can't hold back anymore, so I decide I will just finish one little part for them, like maybe the small boat in the corner, I'll just find all the pieces that go with that boat and finish that part and then, I'll quit. I work hard and fast on this little boat and before I know it, I am finished....

"Oh Shit," I think. "I am done with the boat but there are still pieces left that I thought went with this boat, but they didn't so they must go with a different boat and since I already have so many of the pieces for that boat I might as well just finish that one real quick like."

This vicious cycle (the reasoning stage) continues, finishing each boat and continuing to work to fill in the gaps long after the puzzle starter has left for more interesting endeavors. Eventually, I have finished everything except the sky or water (you know, all the pieces that look exactly alike and the only way to find where they go is trial and error?).

Time to kick it into hyper-drive (Wow, Star Wars reference, that was geeky too huh?)!! This is the binging stage. I begin sorting the different shapes according to how many knobs they have and whether the knobs are adjacent of across from each other. That is a potential for 6 different piles:

The "No Knob Pile"
The "One Knob Pile"
The "Two Knob Opposite Pile"
The "Two Knob Adjacent Pile"
The "Three Knob Pile"
The "Four Knob Pile"

Then I start finding specific spots where I can narrow down which pile the correct piece may be in. For instance if there is a corner where there are two open ends, I know the correct piece must be in either the four knob pile (rotate the piece four times to see if it fits), the three knob pile (rotate twice to see if it fits) or the two adjacent knob pile (no rotation needed).

I continue this process diligently (while no one else has any interest in continuing) until the puzzle is complete and I have achieved the peak high. Almost immediately after I feel a sense of disappointment and tension (hangover/withdrawal stage). I want another damn puzzle!!

The urge continues until I finally get another one and then I sit looking at it trying not to start it because I know where is will lead and then someone goes and finishes the stupid border....

Here we go again!.....

The Most Beautiful Place in the World

Ally and I are leaving today for what has become our yearly camping trip to the Lochsa river and the Selway Wilderness in North Central Idaho. This year we made it a sort of extended family camping trip with aunts uncles and cousins. Even my mom is coming. I don't think she has ever camped in her life and I am proud of her for giving it a shot and excited to have her along. I have been going there for a long time with my dad and he used to go there when he was a kid with his dad. That alone makes it a special place.

The trip usually consist of a day of fly fishing on the river and a hike into the Jerry Johnson Hot Springs (Beware of naked old men if you ever decide to visit, this hot spring is "clothing optional"). On the other day, we make an 11 mile drive up a steep one-lane mountain road towards Tom Beal Park, which is a base camp for a gigantic system of trails throughout the Selway Wilderness. Just before we reach the park however, we turn off into what seems to be just a dusty open spot next to a sheer cliff. Then you peak over the edge and you will see what my dad calls "the most beautiful place in the world."

Behold the Walton Lakes (Pictured is the lower lake) about 1000 vertical feet below the look over point. We spend the morning hiking down a switchback-laden trail to the lower lake and usually do a little bit of fishing in the lake before hiking up and over the hill directly behind the lake in the picture where there is a second lake. We spend most of the day here fishing. The trout are small but usually plentiful. Then at the end of the day we make the grueling 1000 vertical foot hike back out. But we're not there for the fishing, we go for the serenity of the place.

I personally feel a strong attachment to this place, probably a part of my dad in me and maybe a part of my grandfather who I never knew, but can only imagine what an amazing man he must have been. I always have loved coming here with my dad when I was little and learning all the things that his dad must have taught him when they used to come. He still today never hesitates to pass on little tidbits of information about the history of the land, the flora or fauna, or little stories or jokes about his past experiences here.

My dad is an amazing guy and I count myself lucky to have him and for every second I get to spend with him out in this place; his favorite place. He smiles just a little bit bigger and laughs just a little bit harder out here and it is obvious the respect he has for it and for his father who spent so much time with him here. I plan on coming out here every year I can for as long as I can and I hope he is there with me for many years to come. I'm glad he was there when I first shared this place with my wife, I'm glad he was there when I have shared it with friends, I am glad he gets to bring his wife here for the first time this year.

Someday, I will bring my kids to this place. I will teach them what my dad taught me and what his dad taught him. I will tell the stories and the jokes that he used to tell; I will make them laugh with a mustache made of tree moss. I will tell them, "This is the most beautiful place on earth."

And... I hope my dad is there to experience every moment.

Love you Dad!

Response and Thanks

After an outpouring of response to my last blog, I thought I should respond. I realized in reading my own writing back several days later, that I may have been having a bad day or something and wrote some things that I didn't necessarily believe but was thinking about and thought it might be fun to ruffle some feathers (unfortunately that is part of my personality and has gotten me in trouble before). I definately was not trying to offend anyone and was simply release a little frustration. I am finding that this journey for truth, while extremely liberating, can be a little stressful at timnes too. I have done a lot of research on the historical evidence of Christ's existence and am willing to concede that He probably did exist. I don't think it is overwhelming evidence as no one seems to refer directly to Him but more to His followers. However, I am aware that much of our written history from that time is hearsay.

To be clear on what I meant when I said I needed more than just a feeling, I'm not looking for proof. The only thing we can know absolutely is that we can't know anything absolutely. Rene Descartes came to his famous phrase Cogito Ergo Sum (I think there for I am) through this same logic. Specifically the truth that led him to the phrase was that the only thing which he could not doubt was the fact that he was doubting. So, point being, I realize I can't have concrete empirical proof. Rather, I am looking for evidence. It sounds like from talking to Ally, that the books she has been reading help with that evidence so they are next on my list of research. At this point, I struggle with the evidence because there doesn't seem to be much more evidence for this truth (Christianity) than there is for others. This may be simply because I haven't searched deep enough yet so maybe that opinion will change, and I honestly, hope it does. In searching, I am trying to read information from both sides of the debate and thereby hopefully comes to as close to an unbiased opinion as possible (unbiased opinion is about as big of an oxymoron as absolute truth). One thing I am finding when searching that it is impossible to read anything that doesn't have some sort of agenda behind it which is part of what makes us human.

After having a few days to looks deeper into these issues, I am becoming more concerned with the "feeling" part than I am the evidence. I think if I continue to search through reason I will find enough evidence to satisfy my empirically driven mind I have and everyone around me to thank for that. However, the feeling people talk about...Just knowing, etc. That is something that I'm not sure I have ever experienced. I've had religious highs at camp, I've been moved by church experiences, I've been inspired to try to run a marathon when I HATE running, but as I look back on those experiences which I had originally attributed to God's presence, I'm not convinced He had any part in it. For instance, the camp high, as I look back was more than likely me as a younger kid getting caught up in the moment and doing what others around me did. I was extremely moved by the 18 year old who decided to get baptized a few weeks back in the first service at church, but I think the reason it moved me was not God touching my heart but a appreciation that this kid knew what he wanted in life and he was dedicated to it. The marathon? I've been wanting to get something done for someone other than myself for quite a while. I was a member of the Post Falls Rotary Club for a year and became so frustrated by the fact that they always talked about doing things but never really accomplished much. The running thing was a way for me to do something and while I chalked it up to God directing me, I think I would have still wanted to do it if I never had heard of Christianity. Obviously these are all assumptions and I will never know for sure, but I have been trying to take a step back from what I have always been told to believe, and have done so blindly, so that I can find that truth for myself. I have to be honest about who I am and make Christ my truth or it will never have meaning to me.

That being said, I know I can't make it my truth without guidance from people around me. Thank everyone for their guidance, feeback and patience...

Plenty of Questions, Not So Many Answers

I lie awake every night for a good hour thinking about so many things before I finally drift off. All these thoughts would probably make excellent blog fodder but the cohesiveness of the thoughts is long gone by morning. So I figured I would start writing about some of the bits and pieces and see if anything starts to come back together.

As I have mentioned in previous blogs, I BELIEVE 100% WHOLE-HEARTEDLY IN GOD. That is to say I believe there is a God. Who he is, what his nature is or the extent of his power, is still up for debate in my mind. I just can't look at the world and think that it and we are just some strange coincidence. Also up for debate is whether or not Jesus Christ is real. Not only is he the son of God and did all the things the Bible says he did, but did he even exist.

In the last weeks I have heard the phrase "good question," a whole bunch but have not anyone able to give any answers to those questions. Nor have these questions opened up any serious dialog to try to find at least a partial answer (except with my wife or with others who don't claim to have found their truth). This frustrates me. I consider myself to be a pretty heady person but am also aware that the magnitude of these questions are not something that I can answer without some good dialog and help. If they are such "good questions," why don't others who have found their truth ask them? Maybe they do, but why have I not heard them ask them. Do they pray openly in public and in church to show how happy and proud they are of their truth but then question and search in a closet? This seems backwards to me. In fact the Bible even says to "pray in a closet" (I never wrote down the exact passage but it is there). What good does questioning in a closet do? Kinda hard to find anything in the dark.

Another frustration I am having is when I ask a question specifically about Christianity, I get an answer laden with bible quotes and passages. I understand that this is the defining book on the faith but what good does it do me to get answers from the Bible when part of my whole question is in regards to the validity of the Bible? That is like arguing about the color of the sky with someone who is color blind.

So I ask then "How do you KNOW the Bible is the truth?" and the usual answer boils down to "I just KNOW," or "It is just a feeling." I will not criticize anyone on what they believe or why they believe it, but for me, a "feeling" is not enough. If I am to lay my life down for Jesus Christ and think twice about every action I take to make sure it is the Christian thing to do. If I am going to willingly live with the stress of knowing that some of my closest friends and family are going to Hell because they do not believe in Christianity. If I am to believe that no matter how good a persons intentions and works in life are they are nothing without Jesus, or if am am to believe that those who have never even known of Jesus will not have a chance at heaven, I need more than just a feeling. No one will deny there is a helluva lot on the line here, and I can justify anything with this sort of magnitude on a feeling. For instance, can someone direct me to some other writings of the period (other than the Bible) which refer to or speak of the life and death of Jesus Christ. I haven't been able to find anything. It is hard enough to show evidence that he was the son of God, but I can't even seem to find evidence that he ever walked a day of this earth. Does that bother anyone else? It bothers me.

Again, please no one take offense to this as I am not trying to put your truth on trial. As I have said before, I am beginning to think there may be more than one truth. All I am doing is trying to learn about your truth so that I can determine if it might be mine as well.

Feedback is appreciated... From everyone.... Thanks!

Quick Post

I am blogslacking so I wanted to throw something up. I got this quote from a very intelligent woman I know. It seems kinda obvious but none-the-less, I think, an important reminder to use our noodle and put a little stock in good old common sense from time to time.

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." -- Buddha

Is there such a thing?

My wife and I have been on this spiritual and philosophical journey over the last month and it has really changed the way I look at the world. There is nothing, I think, more fascinating than truth. There more I search for it, the more I am realizing that there might not be an answer, at least not in the absolute sense. Let me explain...

The first thing that began to happen as we started this journey was a great degree of discomfort. This was due to the simple fact that I had begun to doubt what I had held in my heart to be the absolute truth for so long. I worried about how this doubt would change us and if the God that we believed in all these years was saddened to see us questioning. I even worried a little about what friends in the church would think. As I continued to question and search I found more and more that this questioning and doubting was a good thing. What better way to find absolute truth than to start by putting my own beliefs on trial. I have since come across several fascinating thoughts from rabbis, preachers, mathematicians, philosophers, scientists and artists, supporting the idea that doubt is a good thing. However, there was one condition that continued to pop up in words of these great minds. They all believed doubting was a good thing, so long as we never cease our search for truth. C.S. Lewis used the analogy of the hall with many rooms. The hall being the place where people searched and doubted until they were able to select the room which they believed held the truth. He even said those who have already found their room should be kind to those still in the hall. The key point to his argument however, was that it was not ok to just stay in the hall. It is imperative to always continue to search for the room which held the truth.

This line of thinking and research has led me to the conclusion that while uncomfortable, doubt is essential to finding truth.

That was the easy part. My next question was, what happens when you find your room? Do you just go in and learn all you can from everyone who is already there and dive deeper and deeper into this truth, never to hear from or ask about the other rooms again and never to speak to those in the hall other than to try to convince them to come to your room? That seems a little idiotic...

Why would we not want to continue to learn not only about our truth but about the truths that others believe in? To continue with C.S. Lewis's analogy, would it not be a good idea to occasionally visit the other rooms and learn about those truths as well? If the truth we chose is the absolute truth, learning about the others should only strengthen our faith in that truth. If we are wrong, wouldn't we want to know that and learn about what might be right? More important than visiting the other rooms, I think it is extremely valuable to spend time back in the hall as well. I think the best way to continue to learn and search for meaning and truth in life is to spend time with those who themselves are still searching. Their thoughts are much more objective than those in the rooms and they ask the questions that those in the rooms won't because they are less susceptible to the discomfort of doubt.

I struggled with this for weeks trying to understand how do I KNOW? Will I ever KNOW? Does anyone really KNOW? I found my answer Thursday night in the strangest of ways. I was watching Sports Center, which I almost never find time to watch anymore, and they were doing one of their artsy pieces talking about how the Tampa Bay Rays were so dang good this year. At the beginning of the piece they flashed a quote from Voltaire which hit me like a 2x4 to the cranium. "Doubt is uncomfortable,..." (OK I already knew that) "Certainty is ridiculous." Funny how when you really focus on something for weeks at a time trying to find an answer, the universe just tosses it into your daily life in a place where you least expected it. Talk about the law of attraction in action.

RIDICULOUS!! It is!! This is not to say that someone who has found their truth/room is wrong or is an idiot for believing it, it just means that NO ONE can be certain and to claim to be certain is RIDICULOUS! It is OK to believe something with every bone in your body and to pour your heart into it, but you have to acknowledge that it might not be ABSOLUTE truth. If we can acknowledge that simple fact we will never stop learning. And, we will only grow deeper in what we have come to believe is OUR truth.

To bring this full circle... While uncomfortable, doubt is essential to finding and strengthening OUR truth. If we are to truly live, we should never stop searching for it, however, in the same breath, we should never be certain of it.

Will we find ABSOLUTE truth? I think not, in fact I wonder, is there such a thing?

Bitchin'

I think bitchin is a pretty sweet word. I am going to try to encorporate it into my daily vocabulary. Did you see that bitchin' thunderstorm last night?

A Wager on Truth

So yesterday I was reading some of the work of Blaise Pascal, a French Mathematician and thinker from around the time of his more famous contemporary Rene Decartes. He is most famous for what has become know as Pascal's Wager which I think brings a unique perspective to the question of truth. Pascal believe that empirical (scientific) knowledge alone was not sufficient to finding truth. At some point faith would have to take over if we truly wanted to find what is really real. He called faith a great wager which we have to take. We can wager that God is either real or not real. If we choose to wager on his existence and we are correct then we have much to look forward to in heaven, and if we are wrong then the only loss is of earthly desires which are not important anyway. However, he argued, if we choose to believe God is not real and we are right, there is no consequence good or bad. However, if we are wrong, the consequence is incredibly great. Therefore, Pascal argues, while we cannot prove God is real, the safe bet (wager) is to believe in him whole-heartedly.

I enjoyed reading his arguments, it is good to hear someone acknowledge that we have no hard evidence of God's existence. For me it is difficult to take a "leap of faith," like so many evangelistic Christians encourage us to do, when there is so little to sway me to do so. I like Pascal's reasoning, it gives me a good reason, other than blind faith, to believe. While I lived in Las Vegas for over a year, I never played a single game of poker, blackjack, roulette, or craps. Why? Because the odds of winning aren't so good and if you do lose, you lose a lot. I'm a penny slot man. If you win, you can have a really good return, if you lose, at least you lost something that isn't worth all that much.

Food for Thought

Going try to keep this shorter today. Just thought I would throw a few quotes out there that I found incredibly intriguing...

--"Here is one man less wise than I. In all probability neither of us knows anything worth knowing; but he thinks he knows when he doesn't, whereas I, given that I don't in fact know, am at least aware I don't know." - Socrates

--"I like your Christ; I do not like your Christians." - Mahatma Ghandi

--"I am my own church." - Thomas Paine

--"Is something good because the gods say it is, or do the gods say it is good because it is?" - Socrates (I like his so much, here's another one)

--"Whatever lacks intelligence cannot move towards an end, unless it be directed by some being endowed with knowledge and intelligence; as the arrow is shot to its mark by the archer." - Thomas Aquinas

--"An objective uncertainty, held fast through appropriation with the most passionate inwardness, is the truth." - Soren Kierkegaard

--"I call an animal, a species, or an individual corrupt when it loses its instincts, when it chooses, when it prefers, what is disadvantageous for it." - Friedrich Nietzsche

Enojy...

A Quick Blog of Clarification

The ideas, thoughts and questions presented in this blog are not necessarily what I call my truth. They are simply ideas, thoughts and questions. I intentionally write them in the first person perspective in hopes that they will more deeply permeate not only the minds of my readers but of my own as well. Questioning is a good thing; might as well not be half-assed about it.

"I Crap Bigger than You"

Remember Curly from City Slickers? That was one of his more colorful one-liners in the movie. Jack Palance's character was on the surface a rough tough mountain man with no more an aptitude for deep thought than the cattle he drove. But later in the movie Curly lets Billy Crystal's character in on the meaning of life...

"This," Curly says, holding up his forefinger.
"What's that," asks Crystal's Character.
"That's what you have to figure out."

What Curly meant was that the meaning of life is different for each one of us and it is up to us to find out what that one truth is. This is exactly where I feel like I have been for the last few weeks; trying to find my one truth.

Last night I had a conversation with a good friend of mine. He also grew up in a Christian environment so I wanted to get his perspective on Christianity and see what he believed. I wanted to see what his one truth was and why. He talked about his core values which I liken to Curly's one truth. In the end of the movie Billy Crystal's character discovers that his one truth or core value is his family. However, my friend took it a step further than Curly. He talked about his three basic core values. Like me, he had a good family environment growing up so his first core value was also family. His second was the knowledge that he can accomplish anything and the third was a belief in a higher power.

Not one core value but three which work hand in hand shaping who we are. I think that these are the core values that most people can relate with, and I would venture to say, that if they aren't in tune with these values, they are missing out on an important part of life.

Family is key. We are shaped by those who are close to us and we create our reality based our the system of morals and beliefs they bring us up in. This is not to say that we are always shaped exactly in their image but more as a causal effect of their image. Even those who had a poor family environment should not reject family as a core value. It is still and will be an integral part of their life. To push it out would be to shut off a part of themselves.

The second core value is my favorite because it makes me feel free! "I can do anything I want." When he said this, he didn't mean throw caution to the wind and act on every impulse, throwing morality out the window. He meant he is in control. He can accomplish whatever he chooses. This for me resonates deeply because the biggest frustration I have had with Christianity is that it teaches us to hold back our free will and follow the path that God has chosen. Even if that path will make us unhappy in this lifetime, we will gain ultimate happiness when we go to heaven. Well, what if Christianity is wrong?

The law of attraction states that I can shape the universe in my favor; that I can use the focus of my thoughts to bring me what I want in life. If you look at this broadly, it seems silly at first. But think about this... Have you ever woken up in the morning and stubbed your toe on the foot of the bed, cut yourself shaving or spilled hot coffee on yourself and said "Oh great, its going to be a long day."??? What did that day turn out like? Probably a day you wouldn't wish on your worst enemy. Try waking up in the morning every day this week and make you first thought be "This is going to be the best day!" You could even write it on your mirror with lipstick of dry erase maker. If you focus your energy everyday on being positive and thinking about how good every minute is going to be, you WILL have a good week. Try it and let me know how it goes.

The third core value is a belief in a higher power and I will segue with an interesting point my friend made last night when I was talking about the law of attraction. Christians say God made man in his own image... What if that image included the ability to shape the universe as he did when he created it? When he said that a light bulb went on. I firmly believe that something more powerful than we can imagine created the universe and I believe that it is God. Some may call it something different but for me that is the image that works (probably because of the influence of core value #1). My belief in this higher power is that of the Deists perspective. God created the universe and set it in motion and it is so perfect that it does not need his intervention in it. George Washington called God a "Grand Clock Maker" and other Deists have coined the phrase "Absentee Landlord." However, with the comment my friend made, the pieces are coming together for me. I think that God may have made a universe so intricate and unique that there are universal laws which will always be in effect. Some are the obvious ones like the law of gravity and the law of relativity, some may not be so evident like the law of attraction.

So here is how it all comes together... God created the universe and set it in motion billions of years ago starting with the "big bang." His plans began to take effect over time creating the earth, life and eventually that life evolved to the dawn of mankind (no by God's direct hand but as a result of the plans he set into motion "in the beginning"). He intended us to be in his image including our ability to utilize the laws of the universe to shape our own reality (this includes both the usual laws of science and the law of attraction). Our families give us a starting point for how we will view the universe and that starting point will always be a huge part of our being. Ultimately, however, it is our responsibility to find our truth and apply each our the three core values to help us find happiness and live a virtuous life. If we do those things we will have fulfilled God's intention for his grand design and we will someday join him in heaven.

Sorry for the extremely long blog but hopefully it makes some sense and bring out some things you hadn't thought about. I may very well be wrong and am still stewing around these new ideas myself, but I firmly believe I am living and thinking the way God intended me to. Your feedback is always welcome...

Ironmen, Allergies, a Promise Fulfilled and Crazy-Ass Neighbors

So I haven't posted for several days now; Here's a quick recap of the last week. Thursday morning, I started my yearly side job at the Ford Ironman Coeur d Alene pushing Power Bar Products and handing out samples. I am always amazed at the people that do these things. I think with a little training I could complete any one leg of the triathlon (2.4 Mile Swim, 110 Mile Bike and 26.2 Mile Run), but to do them all back to back seems absolutely insane. It was a fun but tiring change of pace from the usual office work.

Allergies Suck! On Thursday night we took the dogs out for a quick run in the field and as they ran through you could see the clouds of grass pollen rising into the air. This should have been my first sign to turn back, but loving my pups as I do and enjoying the walk with my lovely wife, I said "I'll be fine...."

By the time we got home, I was sneezing uncontrollably and couldn't breathe through my nose. Every time I tried to clear my nostrils out, I set off another fit of sneezes. After a heavy dose of Benedryl I stayed up waiting for it to kick in... It never did. At one point I contemplated going to the ER. I didn't sleep much that night and had a very long day at the Ironman, followed by a double header with my church league softball team. I got home around 9pm and was completely wiped. A wind storm on Saturday evening kicked up the dust and the pollen and an even worse asthma attack ensued through Sunday morning.

And then came the crazy-ass neighbors. Ally and I woke up Sunday morning with the intent to move the hot tub we had delivered, from the driveway to the back yard over about 100 feet of grass, dirt and gravel (I had a special desire to get it done because I promised her that if we moved back to the northwest, we would buy a hot tub). We had moved it about five feet before the wheel of the pallet jack became stuck and we were at a stand still. Then the neighbors two houses down, who had been drinking vodka since 9am the day before and who Ally and I were cursing the night before due to their blaring music and loud, drunken shouting, saw our struggles and offered to help. About a half hour later we had the hot tub in place and couldn't have done it without their help.

They also invited us to their BBQ that evening which we reluctantly accepted but ended up having a pretty good time and some really good food. I just feel sorry for the neighbors because for some reason they felt it necessary to have the music in the house up so high that we had to shout to hear each other as we sat outside.

I came home determined to have the hot tub up and running by the end of the night so as to fulfill my promise to my bride. After work the next day we got to enjoy our first soak in the new tub.

What a whirlwind of a few days, but there was good to come of it. I had gained a renewed motivation to workout, a great appreciation for our quiet neighbors, a sweet new hot tub, and... an addiction to Zyrtec.

Hopefully now as things calm back down, I can focus and get some quality thoughts out through this blog...

I'm a Wuss

I had a nice drive out to Kellogg, Idaho today. I always listen to ESPN radio on the way. Today Mike Tirico and Scott Van Pelt where talking about Tiger Woods and his impressive win at Torrey Pines in the US Open. It was a performance filled with classic Tiger moments such as the 15 foot birdie putt he sunk on the 18th hole to force the 18 hole playoff or the birdie on 18 in the playoff to force a sudden death playoff. It was impressive enough even if all you saw was the highlights. But it was more impressive if you listened and watched intently. All of us who watched any of the US Open this past weekend could visibly see the pain Woods was in. He had knee surgery not long before the Open and hadn't fully recovered and due to that injury, he had hardly practiced leading up to the Open. After each shot he hunkered over in pain, one time even dropping to his knees. The announcers kept talking about his knee not being 100% recovered, but today we found out it was far worse than anyone knew.

Apparently, about four weeks ago his doctors discovered that he had re-injured his surgically repaired knee to the point where he needed ACL surgery. Then two weeks ago they found a stress fracture on his tibia (lower leg)... Dude had a broken leg!!

The knee was injured worse than before he had the initial surgery and HIS LEG WAS BROKEN! He just played 91 holes of golf in the past five days and HIS LEG WAS BROKEN! He just walked the equivalent of about 8 miles and HIS LEG WAS BROKEN! He just won the US Open, which is regarded as the most difficult golf tournament in the world and HIS LEG WAS BROKEN!!

Woods said this win meant more to him than any of his previous 13 major wins; now we know why.

I have to say, what an incredible iron will this man has. His doctor reported has told the media that he advised Tiger to stay off his knee for at least six weeks upon discovering the fracture. Woods told him that he was going to play in the Open and he was going to win it. And then he did just that.

and...

HIS LEG WAS BROKEN!!

I have a lot of work to do in the yard at home tonight and was dreading it because of the massive blister I have on my hand.

I'm a wuss!!

Consumed

Not having any especially deep thoughts this morning. A little consumed by the pile of work I have in front of me. It sure comes in waves. Most of it is annoying paper pushing which hopefully I will have some help with soon but until then I have to deal with it. Just trying to keep as positive and as excited about the things happening in my life as possible.

I'm looking forward to getting home and it is only noon! I can't wait to see my beautiful wife annnd cute little wiggle-butts.

Plus I have so many projects waiting at home that I can' wait to work on. Projects at home bring me peace I think; good thing there is no shortage of them.

You know what else is bringing me peace? This blog thing... Go figure...

Back to work...

Live in the Moment

So my wife just read me this really cool passage out this book called The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success. It had something to do with acceptance. Not accepting others beliefs, not accepting your short comings, not even accepting you life as it is. More specific than any of those things. ACCEPT THIS MOMENT. Wow! You wouldn't think we would need to be reminded of that. It's like a George Carlin euphamism; you never thought about it, but when you hear it, it is so true you can't believe you didn't think of it yourself.

This moment is exactly as it should be; a culmination of every moment of your life leading up to it. To fight it would be to fight the power of the universe, the will of God, karma, first cause, or whatever else you believe causes things to be the way they are. Regarless of your faith and philosophy on life (or lack thereof) it is an important remider to all of us to accept the THIS moment and work (in whatever way our beliefs guide us) to shape the NEXT.

Birth of an Ocean

I wrote this back in college and have always liked it. I wrote it on behalf of a roommate for his Pacific Northwest History class. He got an "A." I may be just a titch partial, but I think this is "A+" material.

The Birth of an Ocean

In the depth of winter, snow falls softly
In the high mountains of British Columbia.
Floating at the will of the wind, each tiny flake falls,
Capping the blue-gray peaks towering above.

The snow pack continues to build, deeper and deeper it grows
Through the first months of the New Year.
Continuing to build, bit by bit, each intricate flake,
Awaiting the sun’s rays to set them free again.

A glowing beam pierces the billowing clouds,
And shines upon the white desert below.
A faint glimmering drop forms from nothing,
And begins to slide deliberately down the icy mountain face.

The drop gains followers as it makes its way downward.
Each of its successors traveling at the same leisurely pace,
And then slightly faster and faster until...
Their individuality is lost.

The drops merge to form one long infinite trail of fluid,
Flowing, ever so elegantly, through its adolescence.
The white desert of its early days has now passed,
Giving way to the lush hues of the evergreen forests.

The narrow stream feeds off the pleasant scents,
And comforting quietude of the surrounding woodlands.
It thrives and grows as trout, crawdads, and mayflies abound.
The stream widens to a babbling brook, a calm creek and then...

A raging river gathers its power,
Barreling through the flat plains below the mountains,
And around the rolling hills in its path.
It cuts as it travels searching relentlessly for the path to freedom.

The majestic river swells wider and wider,
Masking its might beneath the platitude of its surface.
It seems almost weakened by its journey, but no,
It gains strength and burrows further down into its gorge.

Cutting at the canyon walls the rivers narrows and speeds again,
Appearing to have caught the faint scent of liberation.
It races around tight corners in seemed chaos yet undeniable power,
And then, realizing the challenge ahead, relaxes, conserving energy for a final push.

Its destination within contemplation, the river widens with intensity.
In this final leg of its long journey, it reflects back to its humble beginnings.
How long ago it seems that the inevitable vastness it was about to achieve
Was nothing more than a distant fantasy.

And finally, freedom, liberty, and ultimate enormity.
It had reached the long-sought childhood dream.
The one desire that had harnessed the immense forces of its nature.
Finally, the birth of an ocean.

BLOGS ARE DUMB

I always thought blogs were dumb. Probably because the first one I ever read consisted of "OMG he so totally wants me," "Do you think my butt looks big in that outfit I wore today?" or other meaningless crap. It seemed like the author was just bored at work and wasting their day away.

Now, five years later, I am finnding there is another more meaningful side to blogging and I am giving them another chance.

After reading some friends and family's blogs, I can see the allure. What an outlet for creativity, fleeting thoughts, random humor, and a release from the grind of daily life. While I love my job, it leaves me little room to express creativity and I rarely have a chance for a deep thought. Such an opportunity to get these thoughts out while they are fresh is an exciting prospect.

So we'll see where this goes...